project me.

I know me.

I think I do, or lets say I try to.

There are sides to me I know not yet.

And choices made that sit my regret..

But belief and faith have led to me to apply…

To know my self…the me…the I.

Today…im 40 days over twenty two…sitting bare chest,clad in my red checkered boxers..

At 7:30 am..

on a wet Tuesday morning in Bombay..

my bad …Mumbai…

this sounds like the beginnings of a thriller

except not…

it’s a memoir..

I have no idea if memoir is the right word to use in context of what I will write…because I don’t know what I will write….neverthless it makes me sound intellectual…

I like – intellectual…

The same intellectual which I wouldn’t have spelt correctly had it not been for the spell check..

I love spell check amongst most other inventions..

which enable me cover my not so intelligent…slow to get a hang of things side..

spell check is easy..

like…

delhi girls..

don’t react so soon…

im kidding…they are anything but easy…

you kno wat..

i can gt away with this sort of short hand

as…

new age writng wher the wrter does not give a fuck about spellings or formatting or anything for that matter…

hmmm…

so im a new age writer…

also..

I just realized my piece is already rated r..

damn I have to be more carefull…I know young impressionable minds will read this some day…after I perish..

And will be lead into believing that cursing is cool…

only

..its not

Its sooopper cooolll…

I love cursing…

language no barrier…

though a mother fucker is nothing compared to a

maadddaaaarchod….

See this was the impact I was talking about…

Anyway 22 or something…I want it long..…iv always wanted a long life…I fear death..

I hate the thought..

But I wont dig deep into my morbid side …

Not so soon..

So im 40 days over twenty two..a land mark age…

im allowed to get married, make babies..

Planned ones…or accidental ones…

Im allowed to drink…in this city…not back home yet…

I hold a license…which I might not have acquired through the most legit means…

family connections help..

despite of the fact that I have nothing to do with this section of my family…

its been four years since I legally became political…though It was only last year that I first exercised my share of the universal adult franchise…before that I was a-political..mostly apathetic..

basically im at that juncture of my life where I hit the

“now you are responsible for yourself ..beta” point

I have. I know.

But much before this….the person that I am has been accounted for through my lifes journey….from my place of birth..to the next…and now..

Also, a disclaimer…

Like most people I also suffer from the infant amnesia syndrome, where you don’t have any memory of your baby years….

Thus any reference of that age and less…is what my mother has told me…its her version of our life then…

So I was born to a much in love couple of 24 and 21 in the year 1988 on the world environment day…

Im proud of this fact..though im not very sure if it was so when I came through…

Any way…

so the much in love couple did give me birth…but apparently had no money..

Remember…

My mum’s word..

So the initial years of my being were poverty stricken…

What drama…cool.

Was christened “bubbles”..

My official name came into being only after “saajan” released…which was 12 months or so..later..

My grand father..or daadu..loved salman khan’s antics in the movie…thus my name.

“aiddaan naaa aakash rakh do”

im guessing it would have been followed by thunder and lighting…and rain..

AAKASH BHATIA.

So as it turns out my presence brought some luck…my father’s business sort of took off…but only for a bit…so my first birthday was a lavish affair…

People had turned up for free booze…

Free food…

Some had got presents… most looked sooper gaudy ..it was the eighteees…

my elder sister was the happiest at the party..

I know all of this..because my mother has forced the VHS of the same on me…a hundred times… during our HAPPY FAMILY SESSIONS…

I have no recollection of the day off coarse..

Why I mention this day is bcs my mother gets this beaming smile every time she talks about this phase of our lives…she says it was good…a semi rich ..happy phase..the crest..

So it had to have a trough..

It did..

As it turns out we lost all and most in the next few years…but were blessed with an unplanned baby sister..my father had to move..

my elder sister had to move…and the father had no job…

my mother had three kids and half a job…all three of us were shared between patna and delhi…

actually I wasn’t..

as it turns out I was girlier than my sisters…

or the other reason could be that my mother chose the favorite child and decided to take care of him..

or because im a boy…

and in our land…boys are given a cookie over the girls…

hahah…

I tell my sisters the same and my balls are in danger…

but really…oooooohhhhhh im a boy…it sounds fun..

but mostly it was my high estrogen level back then.. I guess..

Cut to today…

The previously mentioned ..

not so memorable yet so remarkable phase ..

remember poor then not so poor and then poor again..

talk about short attention span

anyway so that phase has instilled in me the very notion of not taking anything as a guarantee ..

The fact that even after you earned something you have to work harder..

to own it..

Sounds fancy..but hasn’t had its application yet…

Im living off my folks..spending their money..eating their provisions…and im taking it all for granted…

So … I know….what i wish to see myself as..

Highly righteous …etc…

I will be..

Not now..

Now..

The person that I am ..is confidant but not sure ..

Very insecure..so at times over compensates..

Very funny…I like to believe..

Very charming ..

No… “not charming but endearing…”

Quoting some one…

I do things for effect…

Again quoting that same some one..

There are shallow as well as deep ends to my pool of being..

My response is a mere reaction to who or what takes a dip.

Ufff too much fancy..

I also like to love…

Iv always been in love…

From my class one love for a girl named after a river…

to today..

I cant recall a time when I was not in love..

Wait…

1,2,3,4…….

Yes always..

So people judge me for this…to which my created response is

“who says its love only if you fall once…for me every girl iv been with iv loved…even for aday..if it were..iv loved her a lot…”

to which most say..

WHAT.

And I give them the ever so- iv just confused you with a statement look…

I like my smugness..

Did I mention that I share my DOB with jackie shroff and Ayesha jhulka…

They were good in their times..

So

Like anyone else

I am ..

also…

a product of my experiences…

a plenty.

The first ten years of aakash bhatia/bubbles/akki/whatever comes to mind in that moment of love..

Came through in the city of patna..in a country called bihar…

For people in bihar …india was bihar..and bihar was india..

For a very long time I was also a follower of this faith…till clarity through geography classes fell through…

I loved my school..despite of being teased by kids and prosecuted by a new teacher every year…for the gold ring in my left ear..

I told all..

“ its religious..”

I had no clue why it was there..

All I knew..was that it got me attention from the ladies…

Mostly my class teachers..

The school was …DON BOSCO..

Much to my fancy..it was one of the better schools in patna…

Yet …I never paid heed to conversing in English…

Embarrassed myself with a

“live application”

as opposed to a..

“leave application”

which my mother signed in complete faith to my knowledge of the kings..

I was suffering from the big city in a small state phenomenon…all my immediate people were from villages…so I felt very elite…with out a clue ..that their exists…a world beyond patna..

I discovered…

Only ten years in to me..